Friday, March 16, 2012

impossible


they say, nothing is impossible in this world.


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but tell me people, how can i live my life without tears missing him.
how can i control my mind not to think of him.
how can i put him away from my heart, when there's a permanent space for him inside me.
for me to forget him.
IMPOSSIBLE.




p/s: i believe this must be the best way for me. provide me patient and stronger heart Ya Allah...

Saturday, March 10, 2012

mati itu pasti


"kite kena balik kemaman ni. pokcik mang meninggal"


tula sms yang aku dapat pagi tadi.
hati terus berdegup laju.
air mata tanpa diminta mencurah-curah jatuh.
betul, aku tak kenal pon arwah.
tak pernah berjumpa, tak pernah bertegur sapa.
tapi air mata mengalir seolah-olah arwah saudara yang dekat.

benda pertama yang keluar dari otak aku.
anak-anak dia macam mana?
kecil lagi ke dah besar?
isteri arwah macam mana?
lepas arwah meninggal ada pendapatan tak?

cepat-cepat hati berdoa semoga Allah kuat kan hati keluarga arwah.
jangan lah keluarga arwah rasa sakit macam mana aku rasa.
semoga Allah berikan hati yang jauh lebih kuat untuk keluarga arwah berbanding aku.

terus teringat pada pagi ketiadaan ayah.
kul 6.30pagi kakngah kol.
"diknor, ayah passed away"
masih segar dalam ingatan kata-kata tu.
hati bagai kan tercabut.
otak seperti tak dapat bezakan realiti atau mimpi.

air mata terus mencurah-curah jatuh.

cepat-cepat aku ambil wudhuk.
solat sunat 2 rakaat.
sedekah kan bacaan yassin untuk arwah pokcik mang dan ayah jugak.
berdoa sambil menangis.
sungguh diri ini sangat kerdil saat tadah kan tangan.
besarnya kuasa Allah.
Dia berhak mengambil sesiapa sahaja yang dikehendaki-Nya.


إنا لله و إنا إليه راجعون
" To Allah we belong, and unto Him is our return "




righteous spouse


O Allah! Please grant me the one
Who will be the garment for my soul
Who will satisfy half of my deen
And in doing so make me whole

Make him righteous and on your path
In all he'll do and say
And sprinkle water on me at Fajr
Reminding me to pray

May he earn from halal sources
And spend within his means
May he seek Allah's guidance always
To fulfill all his dreams

May he always refer to Qur'an
and the Sunnah as his moral guide
May he thank and appreciate Allah
For the woman at his side

May he be conscious of his anger
And often fast and pray
Be charitable and sensitive
In every possible way

May he honor and protect me
And guide me in this life
And please Allah! Make me worthy
to be his loving wife

And finally, O Allah!
Make him abundant in love and laughter
In taqwa and sincerity
In striving for the hereafter!